Post by duffer on Dec 4, 2019 12:11:45 GMT
An older gentleman was sent a demand to attend a meeting with the Inland Revenue. They had become aware that he lived a very comfortable lifestyle and yet offered to pay no tax. The tax inspector was pleased to see he was taking matters seriously as the old boy turned up at the meeting accompanied by his solicitor. The tax inspector explained the situation and demanded to know why, despite and obvious income, the old man felt he did not need to pay tax. The old man said that his occupation was "Professional gambler", and all his income was tax free winnings. He went on to point out that he was indeed a very good gambler and would prove it if the tax inspector cared to take a modest bet. He bet the tax inspector £10 that he could bite his own eye. After a little thought the tax inspector took the bet as the proposition was clearly impossible. The old man then took out his glass eye and bit it !
Noticing that the tax inspector was feeling a little sick that he had been so easily beaten, the old man offered him a chance to get even. He offered another bet of £1000 that he could bite his other eye. Having been conned by the old man the tax inspector was wary. However he could see that the old man was not blind, so it MUST be impossible, so he took the bet. The old man then took out has false teeth and bit his good eye.
Sickened by his losses the tax man was distraught. The old man asked him if he was now satisfied that he did indeed earn his good living from gambling and so had no tax to pay, to which the tax man could only agree.
Before leaving the old man made one more offer. He bet the tax man £10,000 that he could pee clear over his desk and into the litter bin, without a single drop landing on the table. The tax man looked at this frail old man and the width of his desk and very soon decided that this was a bet much more in his favour and took it. The old man dropped his trousers and started. The feeble flow stood no chance and ran all over the desk to which the tax man jumped out of his seat with joy ! He was so busy with celebrating his large profit that he barely noticed the solicitors head hit the table. He then asked the solicitor if he was ok ?
The solicitor was ashen when he spoke and explained that prior to this meeting the old man came to his office to say that he had been ordered to attend the Inland Revenue to explain his income. He had the bet his solicitor £15,000 that he would satisfy the taxman that he owed no money at all and would conclude the meeting by pissing all over the tax inspectors desk, and that he would be happy about it !
He took the bet.
Noticing that the tax inspector was feeling a little sick that he had been so easily beaten, the old man offered him a chance to get even. He offered another bet of £1000 that he could bite his other eye. Having been conned by the old man the tax inspector was wary. However he could see that the old man was not blind, so it MUST be impossible, so he took the bet. The old man then took out has false teeth and bit his good eye.
Sickened by his losses the tax man was distraught. The old man asked him if he was now satisfied that he did indeed earn his good living from gambling and so had no tax to pay, to which the tax man could only agree.
Before leaving the old man made one more offer. He bet the tax man £10,000 that he could pee clear over his desk and into the litter bin, without a single drop landing on the table. The tax man looked at this frail old man and the width of his desk and very soon decided that this was a bet much more in his favour and took it. The old man dropped his trousers and started. The feeble flow stood no chance and ran all over the desk to which the tax man jumped out of his seat with joy ! He was so busy with celebrating his large profit that he barely noticed the solicitors head hit the table. He then asked the solicitor if he was ok ?
The solicitor was ashen when he spoke and explained that prior to this meeting the old man came to his office to say that he had been ordered to attend the Inland Revenue to explain his income. He had the bet his solicitor £15,000 that he would satisfy the taxman that he owed no money at all and would conclude the meeting by pissing all over the tax inspectors desk, and that he would be happy about it !
He took the bet.