[ti]ecstatic[/ti]my sat nav

I have a little Sat Nav it sits there in my car
A Sat Nav is a drivers friend It tells you where you are.
I’ve had this little Sat Nav, all my adult life
It’s better than a normal one, my Sat Nav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions especially how I drive
“It’s 60 miles an hour,” it says, “You’re doing 65”.
It tells me when to stop and start and when to use the brake
and tells me when it’s never ever safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front and all those to the rear
and taking this into account it specifies my gear.
I’m sure no other driver has so helpful a device
for when we leave and lock the car it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey‘s pretty fraught
so why don’t I exchange it and get a quieter sort.
Ah well you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I’m properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things and keeps me warm in bed.
But despite all these advantages and my tendency to scoff
I do wish that once in a while I could turn the damn thing off.